Jesse's Blog

Wiped

I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand

If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?

New Year Resolutions

Okay...so it may be a little late. But better late than never eh?

I figure setting some goals for what I'm gonna do this year will help me get out of this daily depression.

First off, I will put more effort in my studies. Last semester was the most hardworking I've been (and I still did slack) so this year I'm gonna top that in the effort department. I won't be unrealistic and say I won't skip any classes, but I'm not gonna raid as much. Last semester I raided a lot...almost everyday (on top of doing my hw nearly everyday), to the point where I was exhasted from a few hours of sleep per day. So yeah, this resolution has a shelf life of 6months so I will try my best to keep it.

I will floss my teeth every night and wash my hair daily. Yeah...okay, weird resolution. I always get scolded every dentist and hairdresser visit. But really...this is just a problem of laziness. Okay...realistically, I prolly won't keep this when I'm uber tired...but I'll do it on regular days as much as possible.

I will not drink alcohol for the wrong reasons. Probably the easiest resolution to keep...on most days. It's the off-days that are a little harder. But it will be done.

I will not diet. Because comfort eating is still better than the one above. I will try not to snack as much though.

I will not spend all of my remaining savings until I get a job. 350bucks to last me half a year...might be a bit hard to keep considering I already need to buy contact lens soon. But when there's a will there's a way. Hmm...

I will not set any WoW related goals. Well...except pet goals...they're okay.

Once a Cathedrian...Always a Cathedrian.

I'm back to WoW...=X I guess no one is surprised lol. Even at yun's birthday party stan mentioned that moonie said I 'pause' for a while. Jeez...everyone knows me better than I do myself at times.

Uploaded a bunch of old screenies a few weeks ago...still got more in my computer but lazy to upload. Since there's a bunch of pics and screenies in the thread Sean posted I'm not gonna repost those.

=_=" my squished poring

one of my all time favourite screenies-Xmas butt butts!!!

my pretty titi...^^

my cutie lvl70 merchie---Lil' Jesse

MVP Doppleganger...my all time favourite MVP ^^V

erm...hehehe. I remember those wars...that's where I learn to be lazy.

Malaysia/Singapore Ragnarok Online Championship (MSRC) Emperium Guarding Duty... QQ!!! Those few months I never even got to see the fighting...but at least Jeff spied on me and pm-ed me to keep me company. XD GMs also lazy.

Hmm...should I play back Ivalice RO? Hehe...

Withdrawal

It's been 2 days since I've quit WoW. I've stopped WoW for longer before...but not totally quit.

I do not have the client and cancelled my subscription.

It's hard.

Yeah...I admit I'm addicted to the game. But not the content. I don't miss the raids or the quests or the pvp.

I miss the people. My friends. My people. WoW's a huge part of my life not because it's my hobby...but because of my friends inside. Same with RO...although I did consider going back...I feel that the RO chapter of my life is closed and I would rather keep the good memories than reopen it. I'm going to do the same with WoW.

Been occupying myself by mindlessly clicking in Facebook and trying out new non-online games-currently on the demo for Black and White 2. If I like it, I'll get the complete version.

I don't regret anything that's happened...maybe its fate. Maybe its time to divorce WoW.

I'm just gonna take this 1 day at a time...thinking about it anymore than that will drive me to a breakdown. It already nearly did.

I can only hope that one day.
Hopefully.
I will get my happy ending.

Marriage Woes: RO and WoW

I've only had 2 serious marriages in my life thus far.

My first was to RO, whom we got divorced because the love eventually got overshadowed by the work of BOTs and all the negative flames. Still, it was my first love and I will never forget it.

I recently brought my old old (and I mean ANCIENT) laptop to Phuket so I could save pictures in it (my camera has a teeny memory) and found my old RO screenies inside. I'll find a day and upload em all (there are hundreds...literally.) And looking through them, I realize that a part of my heart still belongs to RO and always will. It truly did change my life.

With WoW, I joined almost by chance, and definitely related to RO since Xiang and I tried WoW together. Xiang quitted WoW shortly after, but my affair with WoW ran on...and eventually caused my divorce from RO as I couldn't handle both games simulataneously.

I don't intend to ever divorce WoW, but I know the day will come. Hell, I never planned to leave RO either. We'll just take it a day at a time...

With a more serious (I would even say hardcore) game like WoW, people's true colours appear unlike in RO where everyone was fighting on the same side...and loots was never an issue with the use of BOTs.

I had a talk today with probably one of the more influential friends I have in WoW. I do not know him very long...but time is just a number.

I am very aware of my current...er...how do I put this...political dilemma. My current position is such that my personal WoW life is dragged into raid issues. I've always tried to keep a clear line between raid time and non-raid time...and to ignore what people say. Because in my heart, it's not raid that's important to me. But hearing people generate rumors is sometimes...well, it gets to me.

I won't deny that (one of the) primary reasons I raid is for someone. But it isn't the only reason. If not, I won't bother to login when I having exams and they not enuff people. If not, I wont willingly join other teams that I know is just using me because they don't have other people and if not they will throw me like rubbish. But it's all ok to me.

The comments hurt because I know that I'm taking on a lot of the misunderstanding between others. Because of my personal life, people see me differently now...and not in a good way. So when people say things that isn't true, that is more importantly, NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS. They just want to hurt people on purpose and not care about others who are affected. To spread rumors and spoil people's image.

It's only a game...I never do this to people...that people do to me, is upsetting.

I won't stop raiding because of the comments, but neither will I try to prove them wrong. Let them think whatever they wanna think. I just login if I got time and enjoy the game my own way. Raid or no. Politics or no. Relationship or no.

Anyway, I know that those important to me will never judge me like that. People that I will keep loyal to because they are true friends...like sifu and pp. In the end, those kinds of people are the only people that should ever matter...not those rubbish-talking people.

Phuket Trip 15-18 December 2007 [Part 4]

Day 4...this time, we really did miss breakfast =_=" Both lazy pigs didn't want to get up.

We had a quick lunch and then went to the airport after some last minute shopping for my bf's family.

they called this phuket pizza...but actually, it's just like Hawaiian =_="

crab salad...not bad. still got tomyam (thai style) but forgot to take pic!

and that's the end of my trip...now, off to KL!!!

Phuket Trip 15-18 December 2007 [Part 3]

Day 3 begins with waking up late (just barely in time for breakfast)...then we went back to sleep again =_="

17 December (monday):

At around 3-ish, we got ready to head for Patong Beach. Once we reach there, we had to rent chairs at 100baht each. Zzz...really know how to scam ~~gold~~ money.

We forgot to eat lunch...so we just shared one sandwich.

Then we splashed around in the sea for a while before renting a Jetski...@_@ my first time!

hehehe...I threw my bf off the Jetski 3 times...ganas anot?

Then, we showered and went back to the massage place where my bf got a thai massage and I did my nails.

zzz hair damm messy...after shower didn't dry.

By the time we ended, it was close to 11pm. So we just went back to the room, ordered room service and watched National Geographic. Ahhhhh...paradise.

Phuket Trip 15-18 December 2007 [Part 2]

Day 2: most of the day was spend traveling to PhiPhi Island for snorkling. We had to wake up so early because the bus left at 7.10am. A lot of the pics are from the underwater camera and I'll upload em next time.

16 December (sunday):

Snorkling:
[to be added in later]

on the way out to dinner

After returning from PhiPhi Island, it was evening. We didn't have anything planned for the night except just shopping and dinner.

We went to this restuarant for seafood.

we need to pick our own (live) food...kesian them (but too bad becoz I'm greedy XD)

ordering more food...hehehe

rice...my bf loves rice

noodles...i hate rice, prefer noodles

the poor lobster...but delicious

tiger prawns

We then walked around...

And then? Go back room and sleep lor...

Phuket Trip 15-18 December 2007 [Part 1]

Just got back from Phuket a couple hours ago. My bf and I spent 4 days and 3 nights there. It's about an 1.5hour flight from Singapore, although we do have to take into account the time difference of 1hour (phuket is -1hour singapore time.)

Loads of photos-including underwater ones (which I'll post once its been developed and scanned.)

So anyway...these are the highlights of the first day:

15 December (saturday):

Flight was at 8.15am...so I had to wake reallyyyy damm early. Somemore previous night raid until 3-4am. Didn't sleep much at all...>"< damm tired.

me on the plane...

We reached Phuket about 10am local time (11am sg) and our guide took us around for a bit, and had lunch, before we headed to the hotel (because only after 12 can checkin)

One of the places we went is to ride elephant...I've ridden before in Bangkok so it's nothing new to me, but still cute ^^V

draenei mount...

damm sked my slippers will drop zzz...

this chicken sure is PP...

baby elephant...PEANUT!!!

Then ar...hehe...after checkin, we both lazy and sleep until around 5pm zzz. Then we went out to makan because we had already booked massages later at night.

Here's the food...

you know this is call wut? tomato salad =_="

some sort of fried prawns

noodles and rice...the noodles get raped by me already.

After dinner, we went for the massage (got transport came to our hotel to take us there.) We chose to do oil massages and facials for the 2 of us.

=_=

i think he fell asleep =__="

blur already @_@

facial!!! he fell asleep and started snoring =___=" swtness

After the massage we walked around the streets for a while...didn't really buy much. All I bought for the trip was a pair of shoes at about SGD10.

doggie tattoo

tiger eyes

...and that's the end of day 1!!!

Puppies for Sale!!!

my uncle's puppies...anyone interested? location is in KL, please directly contact my uncle...got 3 puppies for sale:

Hi There,

We are four sisters of English Cocker Spaniel breed. Due to some regulations by our dustbinman's Boss (DBKL) on our breeder and our poor single mum, we need to find new loving homes this xmas to take care of us. We are very good house dog and luv attention. We just need some combing of our hair and exercise of chasing some birds and cats cos we are gunning dogs.

Brunnee : Hi, i am like my mum all gold in colour, while the rest of my sis are cron and gold like our dad. I just luv chewing my breeders fingers when he put me on his tummy to sleep...

Jazzee : I am the most quiet but luv chasing balls and play with my sisters.

Roxxee : I am the XXXXXL of the lot, thats why my nickname is fatty,. I just luv playing tug with my siblings

Kiaree : Hi, i am the youngest. I will be very pretty with all nice spots on my body when i grow up.

So, please, please, can you help us. Just call our breeder at 012-2058619 or email at ginte_ong@yahoo.com .

Thank you . Merry xmas